seattle. 22. female.

Kudos to Sarah Silverman calling her out at the MTV Awards. Vicious? Yes.

Hilton said to the press,

“I did have a choice to go to a pay jail, but I declined because I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I’m not and that’s why I wanted to go to county, to show that I can do it and I’m going to be treated like everyone else. I’m going to do the time, I’m going to do it the right way.”

Boo-hoo, we’re not impressed.

You’re an idiot in idiotland and are unfortunately only going to take a detour for three weeks.  Snort all the lines of coke off toilet seats in various bathrooms that you want; flash your vijayjay to the world, but when your spoiled ass gets behind the wheel after drinking, you’re lucky daddy got you off on only 23 days. 

Side note:

-Double kudos for Silverman not looking like an anorexic hag just escaped from being locked in a spray tan booth for 52 consecutive hours.

-Triple kudos for Jack Nicholson laughing his ass off.

My most recent trip to Blockbuster consisted of:

Although a bit contradicting at times, this documentary was pretty great.  Essentially, it shows women from NYC, a few from Afghanistan pre-Taliban (we’re talking mini-skirt and beehives…not like common day connotations) and opened up a beauty school for Afghan women.  Due to the strict regulations, most women had salons inside their homes to create some extra dough for their families.  The NYC women opened up the school and gave the women professional training in everything from massages to trims.

To me, it was bittersweet.  Although it painted America in good light, it was seemingly obnoxious that some of the white women had little regard for the Afghan tradition.  Overall they were great and did something extraordinary, but let’s be honest–I wanted to smack that red head who scrutinizes the women for not wearing make-up.  They’re right, it does ruin the skin.  Good for them, they look damn gorgeous without it.  Why such a strong pull to impose our Western aesthetics upon these women?

It’s a good film to watch if you’re browsing through Netflix or Blockbuster and are looking to change things up.  Disclaimer: males may grown quickly antsy.

I’m always in the mood for a good drama, therefore why not give a Spanish one a whirl?

I watched it in Spanish, no subtitles…therefore a bit of translation may have been lost.  Overall, I really liked it.  It kept me wide-eyed at 4 in the morning, anticipating what would happen next.

It’s your classic, bored rich wife stops twiddling her thumb and starts into an artist.  With many twists along the way, this is another one for the ladies.  Although, headliner, Bárbara Mori is absolutely gorgeous and enough to retain anyone’s attention.

I can see her being huge in the American film scene…let’s see if it actually happens.

This one I didn’t get to, which saddens me.  It won a few festivals, and I was instantly attracted to its simplicity.  Let me know if you see it and fill us in on the details!

I’ll be sure to add to this once I’ve seen them all.

Yep. Gather your Tupperware, foil up those burgers–impoverished, emaciated children should no longer be our global concern. That’s right, it’s Hollywood’s elite that apparently need our help.

Does anyone else see a striking resemblance?

Oh dear, that’s right, GANDHI HAD A MISSION! Not a rumored drug habit/severe eating disorder.

Sorry folks, keep that Gladware headed to Ethiopia.

I would like to demonstrate my day (and last night) in pics via flickr

10:30 p.m. (last night)

While cappuccino, roommate has on:

11:00 p.m.

11:29 p.m.

11:31 p.m.

12:01 a.m. (today)

&

1:30 a.m. good night

5:58 a.m. i hate my alarm clock.

5:59 a.m. baran, how i do NOT love thee.

7:00 a.m. – this girl knows what’s up

7:03 a.m. jeers to no internet at home

11:30 a.m. – work: jeers to JUNK mail

12:45 p.m. mmm pita

12:55 p.m. ewww, pita

1:34 p.m. uh….a? no, b! all of the above?

1:35 p.m. sun shining through, burning shoulders. dreaming of ice cream.

2:00 p.m. – seriously, i’m boiling. turn in test, cannot sit anymore.

3:00 p.m. – speech: former athletes-turned journalists

Perhaps I’m intrigued because I watched the “Pole to Pole” episode of Planet Earth, and polar bears are absolutely adorable little man killers.

To a similar affect, this will resemble me after finals!

Original

Original

Stop the Clash of Civilizations

Instead of posting pictures of Rover or someone airing their webcam thoughts, Avaaz.org uses YouTube as a slightly different medium.

Check it out!

Dear FCC,

PLEASE CANCEL THE VIEW.

PUT US OUT OF OUR MISERY.

Sincerely,

Ashley

Looks like the cast of ABC’s What About Brian will have plenty of time to play golf.

After just two seasons, the dramedy got the network boot.

May we all raise a glass of my roommate’s coined bev, the Very Barry Watson to the horribly addictive, poorly written show.  Looks like WAB won’t be Tiffany Amber Thiesen’s big break back onto the small screen. Nice try Kelly, but any show with a character from 7th Heaven is doomed.

Well, Nielsen ratings are due, and reality TV pulled out all the stops to lure in viewers.  In case you care, here’s a re-cap: 

Apolo Anton Ono, Olympic gold metalist and Seattle-native won Dancing With the Stars.   Then again, with 18 year-old, Julianne Hough dancing circles around me, I’d look damn good too.  Despite romantic rumors and fierce on-the-floor chemistry, the the couple will tango in separate directions. 

Interestingly, Hough and her fiance called off their engagement just in time to grab the very gold, very hideous trophy for Ono’s 25th birthday.

The two trampled Laila Ali, Steve Sanders (Ian Ziering), and “Fat One” (Joey Fatone) in the final competition.

Tessa Horst and “Dr.” Andy Baldwin are gettin hitched!  Unlike last season, my girl won! To recap (because I’m still bitter!): Sadie got jacked, when “Prince” Lorenzo Bourghese gave the final rose to that boring Florida girl, Jen (barf) but then months later ditched boring girl and went back to our little lady. Good for Sadie, although Mr. I’manItalianprincethat’sneverbeentoRome,norspeaksItalian should be a dollar late, and an hour short…what are they to tell their kids when they YouTube good ol Mamma e Babbo?  Steamy make-out sessions with other women should make for hearty dinner convo, eh?

I digress.  Back to this season. Someone cue “Up Where We Belong.”

My girl, Horst scored a round diamond from her ’Officer And A Gentlemen’ and is getting hitched to the Navy “Doc.”

Although I usually root for the local girl, Bevin sucked.  Lets be honest, a proposal to her would have been Barbie & Ken all over again–and there’s a reason we all tried to try and flush Barbie down the toilet. Therefore, kudos to the skeptical girl winning.  Seriously, aside from obvious reasons–six weeks and they claim to be in love? Bah-humbug.

Can we just recap on the army of skanks (aka the field of blondes) “Dr.” Andy hand picked:

More importantly, ABC: girl in Seattle demands any of the following:

• curvy chicks
• Latinas, Asians, Arabs– let’s go global!
• gays! ABC would never risk it, but c’mon
• hippie chicks
• emo chicks

 I guess there’s always VH1 and Bravo for the real deal!

Cha-Cha Diva Rocks The Russian on ANTM Ok, I too wanted to punch Tyra in the face when she dubbed the finale as a battle of the accents.  We get it, we get it…America’s a melting pot, blah blah blah.

Doesn’t she realize we only tune in to see Jaslene dominiate and to drool over Nigel?  Well, Nigel and to see if J.can stand up with all those freakin ruffles. I swear, if I ever see that again, I will be forced to hurt my TV. Therefore Tyra, save us all and hide that fluffy ass collar, and your ever expansive bad-weave covering selections.   

Who didn’t see Jaslene winning this one from the get go?  I think she’ll do the best out of all the Top Model winners.  If she stays away with ex-70s childstars.

The good news is that Jaslene can now afford to eat.  Jaslene, please!  Before I tupperware some Mac n’ Cheese and send it express!

Click the photo below for a recap on cha-cha diva herself:

 American Idol sucks, stop looking for my thoughts! I’d rather gouge my own eyes out, Oedipus-style before ever tuning in again.

But watching Paula Abdul drunk/high/retarded is always ok:

Burke is the new runaway bride!

Overall it’s been a season of hits and misses.  Meredith should have died, but she didn’t.  Alex and Addison should have hooked up over and over, but they didn’t.  They McSteamy should have gone, but of course he didn’t.  Bailey should be the damn chief, but she’s not.

And where the hell is Taye Diggs, can we just film him for an hour?       

Of course the new intern is related to Meredith, god forbid she doesn’t have anything to whine about. George didn’t pass…bwahaha.  Guess he should have KEPT IT IN HIS PANTS.  Dr. Torres is hot, he’s an idiot.  They should give her the spin-off.

And lastly, is Dr. Burke out of his damn mind?  She put on the choker, let mama take her eyebrows…and the jerk leaves her.  Grr. Grr. grr.

I’m hopeful of next season, but let’s be honest…neither the second or third seasons were all that great. Just like all Real World casts, they need to stop doing each other and get back to the stories.  More Ava, more mountain climbers…no more Meredith!

Rounding out the Neilsen ratings, someone crown ABC. 

Now if only someone could get Ty Pennington to not drink and drive…

Ladies, grab hold.  Just when you want to write off supermodels as a subspecies of humankind, thesuperficial.com throws you a bone.

For every woman:

Although it’s slight, these giraffes have it too!

Click the pic to see more of Victoria’s Secret supermodel, Karolina Kurkova’s junk.

my roommate bought the planet earth series, it’s freakin jaw dropping. check it out!

Great Whites – Planet Earth

Click here for all pixibility’s photos

The BBC published two of the following articles in relation to one-another, both directly relating to condom size. 

Essentially, India’s are too big, South Africa’s are too small.

Condoms ‘too big’ for Indian men

Large condoms for S African men

Would Goldilocks be satisfied somewhere around Yemen?